‘Aladdin & the enchanted lamp
This term for writing we have read Aladdin and the Enchanted Lamp by Phillip Pullman and using this as a model for our writing. We have learnt how to use a number of different language features such as similes, alliteration, onomatopoeia, and personification.
Something I have learnt is to never trust a stranger because they could be dangerous or even misleading like the More in the story.
Something that I am proud of is how much I managed to change every section of our writing even though we could have copied Mr Trewins version. I always love trying to improve and getting better at writing.
Something I would like to improve on for next time is maybe writing a little bit more and putting more detail in it because I know if I tried harder I could probably make more writing way more interesting.
Below is my writing, enjoy!
Shaking with determination Aladdin couldn’t wait to enter the cave. Nervously he clambered towards the caves edge. The cave was damp and dark. Crumbly and creepy. Grimy and ghastly. Aladdin dived into the hole like a rabbit getting chased by a hungry wolf.
In between the pink blossom of a willow tree. Fireflies were sipping nectar adjacent to the tall Palms, fountains were sparkling streams, glinting in the night air.
Aladdin listened carefully. He heard the slow trickling sound vibrating throughout the cave; he also heard a muffled scuttling in the shadows.
Am I going to die today? He questioned himself.
Dangling mesmerizingly in the stunning gazebo was the grand but slightly dented lamp. Aladdin’s curiosity peaked. As he grasped out and prised the lamp the objects around him begged him to take them with him, the trees glared at him as if he was entering their territory, and the water wept at him.
On the dusty ground, Aladdin saw a ring lined with millions of tiny little gems with a note attached. The note read This ring is enchanted, so enchanting, extremely enchanting. The ring is mystical, so mystical, extremely mystical. The ring is unique, so unique, extremely unique.
Uncle Roared “Hurry up! Where is it you flea-ridden peasant”
As the blink of an eye, Uncle flung a magical power-Pink Plowed, yellow yelled, and teal tumbled. The earth groaned and shook and the entrance to the tunnel closed.
The cave was Dark. Darker than dark. As dark as a bat’s wing. Sobbing with rage he realized there was no way out. As days merged into nights a sense of helplessness began to seep into him. The walls reeked of blue cheese. The ground smelt as putrid as rotten eggs and a depressing stench of anger and loneliness hung in the air. Aladdin fell asleep with tears in his eyes and awoke still being blurry eyed, to find nothing had changed.
Yawning and stretching his hand brushed against the ring in his pocket that he’d forgotten about. Roar, bang, zap
The cave erupted. A catastrophic windy and raging storm has started. He could see it. He could see it distinctively. He could see it distinctively through the dark shards of red haze. With blinding red eyes the Jinnee stared at him and grinned encouragingly booming “Let me Grant whatever your heart desires!”
Aladdin, who was gobsmacked and flabbergasted, screeched “I have summoned you to release me from this horrid place right this instant”
Urgently, the earth tore, trembled and belched Aladdin out.
If only he hadn’t been so willing, if only he hadn’t listened to the horrid man, if only he stayed home. The entire catastrophe could have been avoided.
Do you like writing? Have you ever read the story of Aladdin & the enchanted lamp?
